Bio page two - The Katie saga continues  (or something)

Added 10/11/02

Well folks its been an interesting few weeks to say the least. This is very much to do with my TS feelings, well general outlook and happiness would be a more appropriate thing to say, but as time passes the two are becoming one and the same. Over the last few month's I have become more and more depressed I really had become a lot more happy after I had my first night out, i thought my life had reached a turning point and that things could only get better - how wrong can a girl be. At first it was not to bad, just evening's where i lost all  of my self control and ended up crying myself to sleep, but as time has progressed, it has become harder and harder to stay together(several times i had considered suicide- thats how bad things were getting) , this culminated in two things, telling the parents, and going to see a doctor about these feelings. So I went down to the health centre one sunny thursday afternoon, (after waiting almost a month to get an appointment) and went to see the doctor, she was great and was, thankfully, familiar with gender dyspohria to some degree. Perscribing anti-deppressants to me (Prozac!), she also got in touch with pshycoligical services and i'm now waiting for a date to see a psycologist. Thankfully the pills have finally begun to make me feel a lot better, i can see things a lot more clearly now than before and i'm slowly begining to realise that transistioning may not be a choice for me, it may be nessacary for my own survival. With this in mind i decided to take a few steps on my own, I have begun taking herbal hormones, now don't get these confused with the real thing, they are based on phytoestrogens derived from various plants such as black cohosh which when taken cause a redistribution of the bodys fatty tissue's into a more femminine pattern (as i understand it). Whilst they will not achive any more than 20% of the effects of the real deal, they will however give me an idea whether i am taking the right course of action, so far, it feels right to me.

Added 24/12/02

In this months Installment of the Katie Saga.... Okay I know its not exactly that thrilling but bear with me, i need to start this segment somehow. Well it's Christmas Eve and I'm stuck at home with nothing to do, and after this months spending spree no money to do anything with anyway, I figured i'd let you all know (the three or so people who will read this) what i've been up to. Well i went to transmission on the 7th of this month which was a blast (as usual) i made a total fool of myself on the dancefloor, again, drank to much and met load's of people I had wanted to meet for an age, as well as some of my friends from london. All in all it was an exellent night. Just last week was the Xmas party for the T-people in Cambridge at the town and gown Pub which was also a good evening, a bit more relaxed than transmission, right up until midnight when Serenas car Ran out of petrol (gas to any americans reading this), this lead to a mile and a half walk to the nearest all night service station, to fill a jerry can with petrol to get us home! I never realised just how far a mile and a half is to walk until i had to do it in sub zero tempratures and wearing knee length high heeled platform boots. Those boots were made for walking alright - just not cross country! . Needless to say my feet were slightly sore by the time we got back! Other than that it has been a fairly quiet month really, I finally got a appointment date with phsycological services at Addenbrooks Hospital sadly this is still a month and a bit away, ho hum, but at least I'm getting somewhere.

Added 19/02/03

Happy New Year!!!!! Okay i know it's a bit belated but better late than never (and it gives me a way to start this segment off somehow!). I've had a fairly comparatively busy two month's, i've been out and about a lot - town and gown mostly, one trip to Transmission (big thanks for the lift Serena honey!) and another to the Mancester village just this weekend (come back to that later). I also had my assesment with the Gender phycologist at addenbrookes this month, and found that (not to my surprise) that there were minimal services for the transgendered in cambridgeshire, no money for counselling services, and deffinatley none for assisting with transition, but then i never expected it to be easy! I got two very useful pieces of advice from Doctor Denham though (who would love to do more but simply hasn't the funding) One was to not isolate myself as much as I have been recently, and the other was to try and spend more time in the female role, it is apparently the best way to be sure that transition is what is right for me. Manchester was sort of the first step in spending more time the female role, as before going out on the village for a night of fun, drink's and tube parties (don't ask!!!), I had arranged to get to the hotel a bit early, so i could spend time around manchester dressed. I got there at about 3pm (only an hour late, thank's to the wonderful rail services) got dressed and for the first time really wandered around a major metropolitan center on my own for about 2 and a half hour's.... and LOVED it. Nobody seemed to look at me twice, (although i'd like to think some of the men did :) ), i was generally accepted in the stores and shop's and after calming myself down (Ie realising that i was actually passing!!) I just had a good wander around bought a few odd's and end's and was just myself really. I have also been thinking about a change of career as well, mainly  because the current one is boreing me to death!, perhaps going back to college for a bit or maybe even going to University, but at the moment i'm unsure as i am not sure whether i'd be considered uni material these day's and if i did go could i afford to transition as hormones lose effectiveness with age, and quite simply i don't want to spend much more time as a male if i can help it.